Shower Power: Helping Teenage Girls with ADHD

The problems of bathing, showing, and washing don’t necessarily disappear with age. Shower time can be a battleground for many teenagers.

It is especially challenging for girls with ADHD. It’s also one of the areas that - although we are getting better at talking about it - we aren’t yet ready to openly discuss. 

Let’s abandon the idea that it is “because they are lazy”.  It isn’t.  It is usually because of the combination of sensory sensitivities, difficulty with routines, and the often-overwhelming task of personal hygiene.

Does the thought of tackling your teen’s hygiene routine fill you with dread? You’re not alone.

Many parents of teenage girls, especially those with ADHD, find themselves up against this challenge, daily. It can be frustrating, exhausting, sometimes embarrassing. Understanding the issues of bathing from her perspective makes a big difference.

In this post, we’ll explore practical tips for creating a positive bathroom environment, breaking down the bathing routine into manageable steps, and addressing the emotional aspects of body image and self-esteem. We’ll also offer strategies for dealing with resistance and building a support system.

Common Bathing Challenges for Teenagers with ADHD 

• Time Management Issues: Teens with ADHD may struggle to estimate the time needed for showering, leading to rushing or avoidance.
• Forgetfulness: Remembering to shower or gather necessary toiletries can be an issue.
• Low Motivation: The lack of immediate reward from showering can make it seem less appealing compared to other activities.

Understanding these challenges is the first step towards finding effective solutions.

Dispelling Myths About Teen Hygiene and ADHD

There are so many misconceptions about girls with ADHD and their hygiene habits. Let’s clear up some of them:

• Myth: Teens with ADHD are lazy or don’t care about hygiene.
  • Reality: Hygiene challenges are often related to underlying executive function difficulties, not a lack of care.
• Myth: Consistent nagging will solve the problem.
  • Reality: Constant nagging will create tension and resentment, making the situation worse.
• Myth: Girls with ADHD are simply being defiant.
  • Reality: While defiance can absolutely be a factor, it's often more about difficulty with following through or understanding expectations.
• Myth: Once a girl reaches a certain age, hygiene issues will resolve themselves.
  • Reality: Hygiene challenges can persist into adulthood if not addressed appropriately.
• Myth: All girls with ADHD struggle with hygiene.
  • Reality: While hygiene challenges are common, not all teens with ADHD experience them to the same extent.

Create a Positive Bathroom Environment 

A positive bathroom environment can significantly impact willingness to shower. Let's explore this in more detail:

Declutter and Organise

• Minimise visual clutter by removing unnecessary items and create designated storage spaces for toiletries and bath products. Ensure easy access to all necessary items, such as towels, washcloths, and toiletries.
• Establish zones by creating distinct areas for showering, drying… This will speed up the process and make it more efficient.
• Clear surfaces and clutter-free spaces can reduce sensory overload and create a calmer atmosphere.

Sensory Considerations

• Soft lighting is helpful. Consider using dimmer switches or installing softer lighting fixtures to create a relaxing space.
• Pleasant scents such as candles or choose gentle and calming scents for soaps, shower gels IF your child can tolerate them.
• Sound management like noise-cancelling headphones, soft music, or a white noise machine can mask disruptive sounds.
• Water temperature should be comfortable to avoid sensory discomfort.

Personalisation

• Choice of products: Allow her to select her preferred shower gels, shampoos, and body lotions.
• Decor: Encourage them to personalise their own space in the bathroom 

Consider breaking down the routine

• Set a timer:

  • Use a kitchen timer: A simple kitchen timer can be a helpful tool for those who have difficulty managing their time in the shower. Set the timer for a short duration, such as 5 or 10 minutes, and encourage them to work towards completing the showering tasks within that timeframe.
  • Consider a visual timer: Some timers have a visual component, such as a bar that depletes as time goes on. This can be helpful for teens who are more responsive to visual cues.

• Start small:

  • Break down the routine: Don't overwhelm by trying to get them to shower for a long time right away. Instead, start with short showers and gradually increase the duration as they become more comfortable.
  • Focus on one step at a time: If she is particularly resistant to showering, you can focus on just one step at a time. For example, you could start by working on getting them to undress and hang up their clothes. Once they've mastered that step, you can move on to the next one.

• Use positive reinforcement:

  • Offer praise and encouragement: Be sure to praise their efforts, even if they're only able to complete a small part of the showering routine. Positive reinforcement can help to motivate them to continue making progress.

• Make it enjoyable:

  • Play music: Create a playlist of upbeat music that she can listen to while she showers. This can help to make the experience more enjoyable and motivating.

Body Image and Self-Esteem

Body image and self-esteem are intricately linked to overall well-being, and they can significantly impact a teenage girl’s hygiene habits. Here's how you can support:

Open Communication

Establish a trusting and open environment where your girl feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged. Give your full attention when they're speaking, and show empathy for their experiences Focus on offering support and understanding and don’t criticise their body image concerns.

Positive Reinforcement

Emphasise her unique qualities, talents, and accomplishments. Never compare your child to others, as this can damage their self-esteem.

Limit Media Exposure

Pay attention to the types of media your teen is exposed to, and discuss the unrealistic beauty standards often portrayed. Help her to develop the ability to question and evaluate media messages. Suggest positive and empowering media content that promotes body positivity and self-acceptance.

Self-Care

Promote physical activities that your daughter enjoys or develop this as something you can do together. Ensure she gets adequate sleep to support overall well-being. You could consider introducing practices like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to help manage stress and anxiety.

What to do when they push back

Teenagers do push back against routines, and hygiene is no exception.

Here are some strategies to help manage resistance:

Open Communication

Give your teen your undivided attention when they're speaking, and validate their emotions. Express your concerns and feelings without blaming or accusing. For example, "I'm worried about your health when you don't shower regularly" instead of "You're disgusting for not showering."

Collaborative Approach

Allow them to choose their own bath products, shower times, or even help with bathroom organisation. Give them options to feel more in control, such as choosing between two different shower gels or deciding when to shower. Be willing to find common ground, compromise, and make adjustments to the routine if necessary.

Set Clear Expectations

Clearly outline the hygiene expectations and consequences for not meeting them. Avoid vague or overly broad rules. Instead, be clear about what is expected. It's important to be consistent in enforcing the consequences to maintain consistency.But avoid power struggles. Work together to build solutions.If the conversation becomes heated, take a short break to cool down before continuing.

Remember, consistency and patience are key.

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